A Stranger at the Door

Today, while I was getting ready, Asher came flying back to my bedroom shouting...."Mommy, I opened the door and this boy asked me if this was my dog and I said YES...isn't that AWESOME...?!"

I was stunned for a minute.  Trying to think to myself how I could BEST explain that the events that JUST took place were definitely NOT AWESOME, without invoking an unecessary FEAR in him.

 One, I forgot to lock the door while getting ready (let that guilt go).  Two, Asher opened the door and spoke to a complete stranger (teach him right and wrong). Three, he thought he was awesome and such a big boy (don't destroy his ego and point him towards Christ).

I thought of the apostle John's words from 1 John ..."Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God...."

There is a clear and distinct reason why we are not to open our heart to EVERY single thing we hear or see....before we allow our heart to open wide....we should put that "stranger" to the test.

"Asher... opening the door is a job for mommy and daddy.....the TRUTH is there are some people who are just MEAN.  They may not WANT to be MEAN.....but they just are....we want to make sure that we TRUST and KNOW someone before we let them enter our HOUSE."

Isn't that true. 

I don't want just anything invading ...my house...my temple....my spirit....I want only that which the Father has approved....and I think it's just plain SMART to TRUST and KNOW that which you are giving your life unto or opening your door to...

Haven't you heard the "Christianese" phrase ..."The day" or "the moment I TRUSTED Christ with my heart".....it's kind of cheesy....but it's also right on...true.  I don't think it was in an instant that the disciples trusted that Christ was who He said He was...it took time....it took space...it took the Holy Spirit...a seal of authenticity.... It definitely wasn't overnight that I completely TRUSTED the word of God as it is....revealing who Christ is and why He is so trustworthy.....

It takes time. It takes space.

My purpose for Asher was not to invoke FEAR in him today about making  the mistake of opening the door....the purpose was clear.....he needed an opportunity for me to say....it's ok to take time to ask mommy or daddy if this person is trustworthy enough to open the door.....it's ok to ask questions...it's ok NOT to TRUST right away..... but eventually after the initial knock, and lots and lots of answered questions, there does come a point when you have to look up at your mommy or daddy and say ...I think we can TRUST this guy........let's let him in....

Or not.

Stay Tuned....

Coming to The Knight Home.... Halloween Night 2012....you don't want to miss this Y'ALL!

Why and How?

Somedays it's important to remember why you love each other...

We are silly together.

We are tough on each other.

We are best friends.

We adore each other.

Some days it's WHY you love each other.

Some days it's HOW....

"All of my life...

In Every Season...

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship.."

Preach It, Matt!

Matt Chandler was diagnosed about 10 weeks before Brandon with the same type of tumor.

We followed his story, listened to his sermons, chose some of the same doctors, and prayed for his family.

When Brandon hears him preach and when I read his wife's blog....we take comfort knowing that we are among the disciples who are receiving the messages that God brings in and through them.

The message below is one that runs deep within Brandon...and points both of us towards the Creator, Giver, Redeemer and Sustainer of LIFE.

It's ALL about the work of the kingdom and when that is finished.....it is finished....and NOTHING defines that except for the ONE who holds and defines our days....

Lord, have your way in us THIS DAY and EVERY DAY...may we know we are untouchable until its time...

For our High Priest prayed long ago...

"I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one.

They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.

Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth." 

John 17:15-17 

 

Someone Who Gets Me

There are just moments when it comforts me to know that I have always had 

 good, good friends....friends who just get me. 

These friends serve a much different purpose than family....

In high school, I had three of those friends....Sara, Val and Shannon...

In college, there was Court, Jac, LJ, Meg and Ash....

And now...truly there are actually MORE than I've ever had before....

For all of these ladies in my life....and you know who you are...I just want to say THANK YOU.  

Thank you for walking in a covenant of friendship with me....thank you for letting me wear my red lipstick...and my highest heels when I was pregnant....thank you for asking me hard questions about my actions....thank you for reminding me it is not OK to leave dishes in the sink....thank you for eating lunch with me...again and again and again...thank you for listening to me talk about LOTS OF THINGS....thank you for crying with me...thank you for praying with me and for me....thank you for teaching me that deep relationships, though, they can be painful, are TRULY life giving.....

Authentic, deep relationships reflect who Christ is and what He is about.....knowing that SOMEONE truly understands who you are releases a person from so many insecurities.  I can just imagine the woman at the well, the man at the healing pool, Peter the disciple, John the one whom Jesus loved, the adulteress woman, Mary and Martha......I can imagine them in each of their encounters..... taking a deep breath and uttering from their depths...He gets me.....

He came to show us what it means to know and be known by the CREATOR of the UNIVERSE and I promise as you press into the depth available in both the earthly and heavenly relationships....you too will breathe....knowing that He gets you....

When Daddy Travels.....

It's no fun when Brandon leaves to go out of town for work....but we always find the BEAUTY in it.....

Handling the Details

I belong to the Methodist Church.  I've  heard many jokes about the amazing amount of committees and meetings and many stories about just how long one single meeting could last.  I just happen to serve on several committees in our local church and I am honored to serve my church in that capacity.

Tonight, was one of those meetings.....yes...it was long and .....yes.....it was full of details and discussions and decisions.  I can often sit in these meetings and wonder what part I am playing...is it necessary....should I really be away from my family and is there somewhere else I could and should be serving.  Even broader....are ALL of these processes and committees and meetings REALLY necessary.

At the end of this particular meeting, God grabbed my heart in the closing prayer.  The prayer was from thankful hearts that we were given the strength and wisdom and perseverance to "handle so many details" SO that the ministries in the church and school would be FREE to minister as God has called them to minister....

What a freeing thought.  It is important that we have someone to handle our details so that we are free to walk in ALL that we have been called into....I am so thankful tonight that I had that moment of realization that our God in ALL HIS GLORY is the one who handles our details...The Father, Son and Holy Spirit together serves as our personal Leadership Committee.....

Jesus spoke many times that we cast our burdens, worries, anxieties and fears on Him....that we can TAKE HEART ....He has handled all the details....SO THAT we may walk into ALL that He has called us into....and minister to many.... without the burden of managing the details.....

The Search is On

I turned 30 this past July.  I remember taking this picture thinking how blessed I was to be sitting next to my husband, encircling my son, and surrounded by some of my closest friends.

Also, though in the back of my mind I began to let myself become excited about the promise of a new baby.  Perhaps a new addition to our family the same time next year even.....

My confession is that when we sat in the Oncologists office almost a month ago..that was one of the first things that ran through my heart and mind....

Put it on the alter....don't hold onto that expectation....lay it in MY hands was His whispered response.

And so I did....but every now and then it will creep back into my mind.  A thought that "Surely, I won't be a mother to only one child?".....A deceiving thought.... rooted in a seed of doubt.  What if I am a mother to only one child....isn't that enough?  Aren't there some women who will never experience motherhood....isn't that MORE than enough if that is what HE has ordained...am I not well content...right where I am? ...

 ....Trusting that He has ordained my steps and that each path leads to more of His life....

It truly is OK that those thoughts come....I know it's part of healing, part of deeper surrender, and part of accepting all that He has planned.  The key is allowing His Spirit to wash over those thoughts with TRUTH instead of allowing them to stay within the "still to be renewed" innermost parts of me.

"The spirit of man is the lamp of the LORD, Searching all the innermost parts of his being." 

Proverbs 20:27

May His light move within... searching my innermost desires and aligning my will with what He has ordained so that I may MOVE in His Spirit....well content with each FORWARD step.

I've Been There

Doubt or Certainty.

In any given day there soon becomes  a myriad of situations where I can be very certain on how I would answer a question, reply to an email, make a choice  or choose a response....

There are days, though, when my guard is down.....when I decide to run on the fumes of yesterday and when all of the sudden.....I can be in place where DOUBT or uncertainty clouds my vision.  That which was so fresh and clear the day before, suddenly becomes hazy.

"Peter said to Him, Lord, if it is YOU ...command me to come to you on the water. 
And HE said, "COME! And Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately, Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Matthew 14:28-31

No matter where we are in life...I think each of us can find ourselves in this scripture.

One may ask...."Lord, is that really you?"....."How do I know you are Lord?" "What will YOU do to show ME who you are?"

I've been there.

Another, responding to the command to COME....walking on water....not a care in the world.... eyes locked and centered and focused on the ONE who calls.

I've been there.

And yet another, taking a look at circumstances surrounding the focus mentioned above....taking eyes OFF of the ONE who calls and giving glory to the created rather than the creator.

I've been there.

And still another, holding onto His hand...rescued from the storm....looking back at the storm in all it's glory only to find that from the comfort of His right hand the storm pales in comparison....and resting in THAT place where DOUBT is restored and recreated into FAITH.  Not a blind faith that gives no strength to persevere....but rather that FAITH that captures a heart, mind, body and soul to KNOW for CERTAIN that He is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do....

I've been there.

No Words Needed

 

Sometimes your view needs no words.....Resting in the GRACE of this moment.

Your Hand in Mine

We spent the day traveling to Kansas for a weekend with family and old friends....a college homecoming parade and football game, pumpkin patch, beautiful fall weather, apple crisp and of course Sunday dinner....

We made our way to what Asher likes to call the "FARN" where Meemaw works.....we were excited to spend some time feeding the horses.  Cousin Brody and Nana were able to join us and so we were off....

As I stepped out of the car, I was immediately surrounded by the overwhelming comfort of having my mom and my mother-in-law on either side of me and my nephew and my son in front of me....I took pause and breathed in this moment. Entering the stables, my eye was caught by a beautiful painting of a wild horse bordered by the scripture from 2 Timothy1:7...."For He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of LOVE and of POWER and of sound MIND...."

Immediately, I was summoned by Asher's hand to come quickly to feed the the horses with carrots and hay.  Now, Asher was talking a pretty big game (as he often does...processing his fears out loud)...."Come on horsies....get on over here and eat this hay...Come on..." but as quickly as they approached he withdrew finding comfort buried behind my leg. "For He has not given us a spirit of fear ...."

Next enters my nephew, Brody.....hands full of food.  Approaching the fence joyfully, confidently, and intent on offering all that he had in his hands. "But of Love and of power.... "

I took a moment to bend down and very parable-like, offer Asher my thoughts on what was driving him to withdraw...trying to communicate that fear was dominating his thoughts.  But looking into his confused blue eyes.....I closed my mouth....put the carrot in his hand, wrapped my hand around his.....and together WE approached the fence, offered and rejoiced as the horse delighted in the exchange.  

"...and of sound mind..."

I am thankful for my nephew, who, unrestrained by fear, offers his love joyfully.....I delight in Asher when he is released from fear that could grip his moments..I am thankful for the GRACE to see the contrast between the spirit of fear and the spirit of love...and I am thankful for a Savior who grabs MY hand in his and approaches my fears WITH ME.....

.....casting out all fear through His perfect love.

Thought Life

"Whatsoever you sow in secret thought life, that you WILL reap. Sow love and kindness, and you shall be rewarded openly. Sow charity and forgiveness, and you shall reap in kind. Sow generosity and gratitude, and you shall never feel poor. Sow hope, and you shall reap fulfillment. Sow praise, and you shall reap joy and well-being and a strong faith. Sow bountifully and you shall reap bountifully." -Francis J. Roberts

This quote comes directly from the truths of 2 Corinthians 9:6 and 10...."May He who supplies the seed to the sower....supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your RIGHTEOUSNESS."

The thought life is an interesting place....no one can see it....no one can hear it...no one can touch it ....except the person managing it...Do you think it's true that what we sow in our thought life WILL be manifested through us....in our bodies, in our spirit, in our relationships? 

I actually do.  I believe that it is that simple. I believe God, Himself, delights when we turn our thought life over to him....when we yield to him the very THING that He created within us to allow us to exercise that beautiful term we love....FREE WILL. Our choice to act upon our FREE WILL begins in our thought life.  So, isn't it interesting that He gives us our beautiful minds only to simultaneously desire us to allow Him to change our thoughts.......and in essence to change our minds...give us new perspective...spiritual thoughts...about EVERYTHING..... through the POWER that His Spirit brings as He makes His home within us.  He turns our "hearts of stone" into "hearts of flesh".....

1 Corinthians 6 reminds us that we are not our own....we are a temple of the Living God....Jesus himself through His Holy Spirit. 

Pausing on that thought, I have to continue to ask myself....what am I thinking about.....what are each of my THOUGHTS sowing into my THOUGHT LIFE.   Love,  kindness, charity, forgiveness, generosity, gratitude, hope, praise?????  Hate, envy, anger, selfishness, unforgiveness, guilt, shame, despair??????

Could it really be just as simple as "taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and casting down our WILD imaginations"? Could His peace be waiting within the fold of our complete and total surrender of our thoughts......not so that He can control us but so that He can change us....creating what He has promised....a people who will love Him with all their HEART and with all their SOUL and with all their STRENGTH and with all their MIND.....

May you meet His Grace today..... within your EVERY thought.....

Balancing Act

I love to give my dancers opportunities to practice their "balance". When any dancer, especially a young one is learning to balance....there are lots of awkward moments. The first thing the dancer will work on is FOCUS...she has to focus her mind so that she can feel her entire body from the little toe to the crown of her head.  

THEN, she has to take ALL of that energy that she has created from concentrated focus and CHANNEL it ....put it under control into the very core of her body.  

 If she has made it that far, she will continue in the most important part which is TRUST....trusting that her body will sustain her, trusting that gravity will not weigh down her efforts, and trust that somewhere in the midst of that balance she will experience FREEDOM....which is the ultimate JOY of any dancer who has just accomplished the "perfect balance"....FREEDOM....freedom to suspend the movement "higher".

I'm grateful for days like today when God gives me opportunities to "practice my balance".....bible study, lunch with friends, paying bills, doctors appointments, 5+ hours of  teaching dance, helping a friend, putting my baby to sleep, a quick chat with my husband before falling into sleep, a moment with HIM to write a blog.....

I'm thankful that He has taught me many days that when I FOCUS on Him, CHANNEL my energy to my core, and TRUST Him to lead me....that He gives me FREEDOM....even within these days that seem impossible.... HE is the GRACE that allows me to balance during the day...HE is the GRACE that shows me how to rest at night ....HE is the GRACE who will lift my head in the morning.

May you find your balance and experience the FREEDOM to suspend the movement a little bit higher.

This Bitter Earth.....

Some days are just hard....long....full of moments wanting to steal all peace and joy....reminding me that this Earth as it is....is unkind, harsh, bitter....my home for a passing moment but not for my eternity.

 

....And so as He lifts my head I am reminded from the song 

"I Breathe You In, God"  from the album Here on Earth....

"When I don't understand...I will choose you

When I don't understand....I will choose you, God

When I don't understand....I will choose to LOVE you, God"

It's my honor, it's my privilege to worship YOU

For YOU are Good

 

Who am I?

I know some of you have probably asked that question.....

I'm reading a book right now that prompted me to REALLY ask that question....not to ask MYSELF that question but to ask my CREATOR that question....."Who am I, God?".....

Sitting with my eyes closed tonight asking for Him to speak to me from all of His wisdom.....as the ONE who knows me and created me and thought of me before creation itself...His voice was clear.

You are a HEALER of all diseases
You are a CREATIVE AGENT.

You are a WIFE to a sick husband.
You are a MOTHER to a blessed son.
You are a FRIEND to broken people.
You are a DAUGHTER to the King. 

You are a LOVER of MY presence.
You are a WORSHIPER of MY heart.
You are a FOLLOWER of MY way.
You are a RECEIVER of MY love.

YOU ARE A CONDUIT OF MY GRACE.

This isn't an exhaustive, never-changing list....this is His grace to me today.  To show me who I am today, who I will be tomorrow and who He created me to be into eternity....

If you've never asked Him....I pray you would have the courage to ask Him tonight....to let Him speak right through the center of your heart.

May you rest in the knowledge of who you are in His presence.

Human Love. Divine Love.

"For if it is true that human love covers a multitude of brokenness, 

How much truer is it of the DIVINE LOVE of God the Father!"

-Francis J Roberts

Sanctifi---What?

"God's way is not to take us out of the world-

But to take the world out of us.

This separateness is not a physical removal from other people

But a spiritual relocation into

God's sphere."

Tonight I enjoyed an evening of Pho (check it out if you've never experienced it), friends and painting.

That girl in the middle is Gwen...we celebrated her birthday and that girl in the blue apron is Carmen...her 3rd baby boy is coming this Tuesday!  What you can't see in this picture is the very drunken girl to my right....who sat next to me for over 2 hours cussing like a sailor and chugging whatever her drink of choice was for the evening...and across from me were four of my other blessed and beautiful friends.

There is nothing "special" about us...except that we are all believers in Christ....we believe that He lived for us, died for us, was raised from his grave on the 3rd day and is seated at the Right Hand of the ONE true God......and that He calls us to something greater than anything this world could offer...... 

"to be holy as He is holy."

This doesn't mean that we have a list of do's and don'ts that we have to abide by ....

But it DOES mean that we Abide ....

We do what we do because we ARE who we ARE...

We ARE set apart....unto Him

Not from the world ....but by His GRACE that takes the world out of us...

We now choose to do or not do...not out of obligation

But out of our LOVE for Him."

As I listened for over two hours to this lost little girl next to me....I was reminded of who I WAS not too many years ago....the drunk girl cussing up a storm....insecure, lonely and full of fear.

On another day, I may have felt the need to put this girl in her place.....to tell her how foolish she was to speak the things she was speaking in a room full of strangers....what a burden she was to our beautiful birthday celebration....BUT somewhere in the midst of my inner dialogue....I was given GRACE.

GRACE to allow her to be who she was.....insecure, lonely and full of fear.  GRACE to pray that when she lays her head on her pillow that she will be reminded of the PEACE that was present in our group.  GRACE to pray that when she wakes up in the morning she will have an overwhelming desire to search for that PEACE.....that her soul would cry out....that she would LONG to rest in that presence of PEACE again...and that she would search and search and that she would be FOUND.

In the midst of all of this.....I was overwhelmed by the thought....how was it that I had been transformed......

Sanctification is just a fancy way of saying "to be put to it's proper use."  I am thankful tonight that it is not me, myself and I who has worked and will continue to work in me to make me into HIS IMAGE....but that it is Jehovah Mekeddeshem...."The Lord who Sanctifies"....In His presence and in His rest He RECREATES me into His image....

.....to be light in the darkness, peace in the chaos, grace in the brokeness...

May we all be aware of who God is...who He created us to BE.... and for what PURPOSE He has created us....

When He is Near

"Draw": an approach, a drawing near

Approaching Him today in faith that He will DRAW NEAR to me

Clearing a path....

That His nearness today will be my good

All things are possible when He is near.

"But as for me the NEARNESS of God is my good;

I have made the Lord God my refuge, That I may tell of your works."

Psalm 73:28

Crossroads

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

You will GO out in JOY and be LED FORTH in PEACE; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands

Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the LORD's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed."
Isaiah 55:8-13




This morning I dropped Asher at school and  walked a few short feet down the hall to a women's bible study led by one of my good friends.

I had HIGH expectations, knowing the Spirit of the Lord would be within the room and among all the women...that my soul would receive water....

I woke up this morning in anticipation...putting on the lens redemption and taking off the lens of defeat.
Shortly into the study there was an interuption. We were JUST about to enter into 15 minutes of just being quiet before the Lord.

  "They" were painting the lines in the parking lot and our cars were in the way....we needed to move them unless we wanted white racing stripes down the sides of our cars!

So this room full of women made the track to our cars...pulled out one by one and proceeded to move to the opposite side of the building.  A guy in a yellow shirt caught my eye...not sure why....but I made eye contact and with him and smiled politely as if thanking him silently for doing the work he was doing instead of selfishly wishing I didn't have to move my car and I could just get on with the study.....

Random event.

On my way home while praying about what I was going to write today, my stomach began to grumble.  I told myself to just get home and eat a sandwich and have a glass of milk, but the Taco Bell sign caught my eye!  I gave in...

Very close to my house but several miles from the study I had just left...I made the right hand turn into the parking lot to make my way into the drive through.  I glanced to the right and there was that man...the worker in the yellow shirt, blonde hair and blue eyes.  He was with his girlfriend and they both looked pretty rough.

I wondered if he had recognized me again...

As I looked upon him this time....my view was changed.  He looked rough. Smoking a cigarette, arguing with his girlfriend or wife or sister who was too skinny for her frame ...their car door was open and there was trash everywhere....they were confused ....standing in a parking lot....pondering their next move.

Crossroads.

My life had just intersected with this man, twice, in the same day....no coincidence.  Lord, what do you want me to do...was my question out loud as I was ordering my soft taco....as I pull around this corner do I need to say something or give them money or buy them a drink....

His quiet response to me...PRAY FOR HIM.  So that one day he can know that I (The Sovereign Lord) was with him on that day...when he saw that brown-haired girl in that grey Explorer..TWICE....that he will know that I love him...that I offer him my GRACE no matter what he was doing on that day.  That I (The Sovereign Lord) gave him that job in that church on that day and put you (my beloved daughter) in that study so that your ROADS WOULD CROSS and each would know ....."as the heavens are HIGHER than the earth, so are my WAYS HIGHER than your ways and my THOUGHTS HIGHER than your thoughts."


May we see His GRACE today ....not only in our own circumstances and daily soft taco cravings ....but also in those of all His beloved children.

Day 1: In the Beginning.....Genesis 1

In the beginning
God created
The heavens and the earth
The earth was formless and void
Darkness was over the surface of the deep

The Spirit of God was moving
Over the surface of the waters

God said
"Let there be LIGHT...
And there was LIGHT"

....God created. Darkness was present. The Spirit of God was moving. God brought forth Light.
Today may I remember that it really is that SIMPLE.

God is my Creator.
There is darkness present.
His Spirit is moving.
HE brings forth light.

May His Spirit move today bringing light into all the corners of darkness on this earth and in our own hearts...reminding us of His gift of GRACE ....the reconciliation and restoration of ALL things.